Blood Solace (Blood Grace Book 2) Read online

  Mak’s smile was gone. “I’m sorry, Lio.”

  “It wasn’t that she didn’t want to escape with me. I could feel what it cost her to say no.”

  “Of course,” Lyros said. “Did you doubt it?”

  In his darker moments, perhaps he had. But explaining it to them now strengthened his convictions. “She had to stay for political reasons.”

  Lyros sat down on Lio’s other side. “And you did the noble, self-sacrificing thing and left without her.”

  “I didn’t do anything noble or self-sacrificing the entire time I was there. At least, not the way everyone thinks I did. I wasn’t sneaking into the palace to spy for the embassy in some act of daring on behalf of Orthros. I just went to be with her.”

  “So she was your source of information all along,” said Lyros.

  “Of course,” Mak said. “She would want to share as much information with Lio as possible.”

  Lio couldn’t stand to smile again. “She discovered that the royal mage wasn’t just a Tenebran temple-sweeper. She warned me that ‘Amachos’ was really Dalos, the elite war mage trained by the Aithourian Circle in Cordium, and that he and the king were plotting the assassination. She saved all our lives—Aunt Lyta and Uncle Argyros’s, Kadi and Javed’s, Basir and Kumeta’s, mine. She found out about the Eriphite children the mages of Kyria were hiding from Dalos in their temple. She convinced the Prisma to let us bring them to safety in Orthros, where his order can never hunt them down. She gave us Zoe, Bosko and Thenie and all the other new sucklings. I can’t even bear to think about what the Order would have done to them, just because their parents worshiped the wrong god. Everything I said I did, she and I did together. I couldn’t have done any of it without Cassia.”

  A sigh escaped him. He had said her name aloud for the first time in half a year, except for those utterances in his veiled chambers for his ears alone.

  Perhaps he should still make some effort to be sparing with the facts, to tell Mak and Lyros only what he couldn’t avoid revealing and withhold the rest. But it was too late for that. And it was too much of a relief to tell the whole truth.

  They knew she was his Grace. That was the most dangerous secret. There was no reason they shouldn’t know everything.

  “That anonymous gardener from the Temple of Kyria,” Lyros said, “who carried messages between you and the Prisma. That was Cassia all along?”

  “Yes.”

  Mak shook his head. “Even Javed didn’t make the connection, despite the fact that he listened to Lady Cassia speak at the Summit to request medicine from the embassy on behalf of the temple.”

  “Well, Lio. You’ve certainly been careful to draw attention to—or away from—certain facts.”

  “Forgive me. You don’t know how much I wanted to tell everyone the truth. But I let everyone believe I was the only one involved, because I had to, to protect her.”

  Mak was frowning. “How could it endanger her for us to know?”

  “The reason she wouldn’t leave with me was that she wanted to stay in Tenebra and do everything she could to fight her father, to foil his plans.”

  “If she was behind all of that,” Lyros said, “stopping the assassination, rescuing the children…she is clearly capable of accomplishing a great deal. And without even our people knowing.”

  Finally, Lio could make them see her for who she really was. “You give her one small thing to work with, and she turns it into a weapon powerful enough to make the king’s throne wobble under him. All without anyone knowing it’s her. She’s brilliant. Even if she was not who she is to me, it would have been wrong to leave her. It shouldn’t have taken the realization of our bond to convince me I should have stayed with her, no matter the cost. Why didn’t I just stop on her side of the border and join the Charge the night the Summit ended?”

  “Rudhira would have packed you up and sent you home,” Mak said.

  “Then I should have gone errant alone.”

  “No,” Mak barked. “You shouldn’t have. One mind mage using Father’s training to hide from the family Abroad is more than enough.”

  “Hespera’s Mercy. I’m sorry, Mak.”

  “If you’d stayed there,” Lyros said, “what would Zoe have done without you?”

  “Cassia would understand.” Lio breathed a sigh. “A seven-year-old girl needed a Hesperine to carry her from danger.”

  A silence fell between the three of them. That was when Lio sensed the wound in the Blood Union.

  “You could have trusted us about Cassia, you know,” Mak said.

  Lio sensed his cousin trying to understand, struggling to give him the benefit of the doubt. But he had hurt Mak.

  “Of course I could trust you,” Lio hurried to explain. “You would have done anything to protect her…and me.”

  Mak winced. “Right. Rudhira would march to the capital of Tenebra and retrieve her, then deliver her to Uncle Apollon at the border so he could bring her home to you as a Gift Night present. If not for the Queens’ ward, Lyros and I would beat them to it.”

  At last the relief really sank into Lio, blood-deep. “You understand. It’s not because of you. Please don’t ever think that.”

  Mak braced a hand on Lio’s shoulder. “If it were Lyros in another kingdom, I would say to Hedon’s privy with the King of Tenebra, he can do what he likes, I’ll have my Grace at my side, thank you. But you have to do this the way you feel is right.”

  Lyros gripped Lio’s other shoulder. “We will do everything we can to help. Even if it means persisting in this secrecy. But I have to ask, how have you managed like this for half a year? Can you hold out much longer?”

  Mak looked like he wanted to hit something. “Goddess help you, Lio, I hate this. We all know how it works. It won’t get easier for you.”

  “This isn’t a question of strength, Lio,” Lyros reminded him. “It’s not a test, and there’s no such thing as success or failure. It’s just the nature of your body. Once you have tasted that person’s blood, your body is addicted, and no other sustenance will ease the Craving.”

  “Other blood is enough to keep him going, though.” Mak sounded as if he was comforting himself as much as Lio. “He won’t actually starve.”

  “No.” Lyros did not sound comforted.

  Lio didn’t need them to go on. He already knew his fate. He would endure withdrawal, but his body would never overcome its addiction to her blood. He would feel thirst that no animal, human or Hesperine could quench. He would lust, and no one’s touch but hers would satisfy him.

  He would be doomed to an eternity of deprivation in a land of unending plenty. There were some ironies to Hesperine existence he would never understand.

  Deer blood could keep him alive, but what kind of life would it be?

  Lio tried to sound objective. “Do you know how long, precisely, it takes before other blood stops providing a modicum of relief?” For the withdrawal symptoms and thirst, in any case. A full belly did nothing to help with the lust.

  “I’m not certain,” Lyros admitted. “I would imagine human blood, being more nourishing than animal blood, would offer the greater benefit. But I know you. You won’t consider drinking from another person, now that you know who she is.”

  “Fidelity isn’t required until they’ve both acknowledged their bond,” Mak protested. “Since Cassia hasn’t recognized what they are to each other, Lio is by rights allowed to seek sustenance from anyone. The human guests would do him more good than deer. It’s not as if he would be properly sharing with any of them. It would just be the Drink. No cause for Cassia to be jealous.”

  Lio left aside the fact that he would never inflict himself on any human in this condition, even for a dispassionate drink from the wrist. That point was moot. “Could you bear to drink from any person besides Lyros, after you two tasted each other?”

  Lio took Mak’s silence as an emphatic no.

  “How are you doing with the deer so far, Lio?” Lyros asked.

  “Mo
re than two?” Mak glanced at the clean floor, where Lio had lately demonstrated the volume of his dinner.

  “More often than twice a night?” Lyros pressed.

  “I tried to find some guidance about my situation, but I was afraid to ask anyone for information, for fear they would find me out. I have studied some of the historical records that describe Hesperines who attempted to survive without their mates, but most of those concern cases in which one had died and the other was the sole survivor. We all know that doesn’t last long.”

  “Stop talking about history,” Lyros told him. “You’re not Hylonome.”

  “That’s a horrible story!” Mak’s brows descended. “Don’t tell me that was even one of the examples you looked at.”

  It was the first one Lio had re-read, but he hastened to reassure them. “As if I would fast atop the Observatory tower and refuse all blood until I join my fallen mate amid the stars. I’m not really that dramatic by nature. Besides, Cassia would never battle twelve wicked mages to save the lives of an entire town, only for the prejudiced villagers to turn loose their liegehounds to rend her to shreds. Dogs love her. And she would outsmart the mages and save the village without any of them the wiser.”

  Talking about the grisly love story of Hylonome’s suicide after her Grace’s noble death in such flippant terms…talking about Cassia in such terms…was not having the effect Lio had hoped of robbing the tragic story of its power.

  He had thought Mak’s initial sense of betrayal and his Trial brothers’ ensuing worry had been hard to withstand, but this… He could taste their fear.

  They didn’t want to lose him. They actually feared they might.

  Oathbound

  Lio leaned his head back against the wall again and looked toward the sky he could not see through the ceiling of the steam room. “I have to do what’s best for Cassia.”

  “You have to do what’s best for both of you,” Lyros told him.

  “Cassia is in danger as long as she’s in her father’s kingdom. I don’t know how to live with the knowledge that she’s risking her life as we speak. But look what she’s accomplishing. She’s the one uniting the free lords, you know.”

  Mak rubbed the back of his head. “No offense, Lio, but I think you’re a bit lovestruck. I know she’s extraordinary, but those goat-feasting Tenebrans don’t listen to women properly, and…”

  Lio gestured to the wad of his tunic in the corner. “I’m keeping a record of everything. You can read it if you don’t believe me. The evidence is all there. The carefully constructed rumors, the drawn-out strategies.” He cleared his throat and decided not to mention the bribes, blackmail and extortion. “It’s all her.”

  “He is in earnest, Mak.”

  Mak sat back against the wall. “Then she’s the reason the Charge still has time to look for my sister.”

  “Yes,” Lio replied.

  “When we get to meet her,” Mak said, “I want to thank her, Lio. Someone ought to.”

  When. Mak had said when. That made it seem so much more real…certain, even.

  “I did manage to send Cassia a message on the Spring Equinox,” Lio said. “Her blood is a powerful focus. I achieved Union with her despite the closed ward, at least enough to sense she was alone and to fix her location. I manifested an illusion for her while the Queens sent out the Last Call.”

  Lyros looked impressed. “You hid your spell beneath the Queens’ magic.”

  “I don’t know what Cassia’s response was, of course. I could only feel her, not see or hear her. But at least…I gave her the impression it wasn’t over, and I sensed what it meant to her that we had contact.”

  “She’s ready to thrash someone to get to you,” Mak said. “Make no mistake.”

  “By now she’s probably ready to accept your offer.” Lyros got to his feet and began to pace. “However, removing her from Tenebra is going to have wide-ranging consequences. Why couldn’t she have been a milkmaid?”

  “She is a skilled gardener and, as I said, wonderful with dogs.”

  “Her bodyguard is a liegehound.” Mak gave Lio a pointed look. “They’re bred to protect innocent maidens and eat Hesperines. That’s not the reason you had to cut it short after four nights, is it? Did you come home with everything you had when you left? It takes time for those to grow back.”

  “Her dog likes me. I’m not too sure how he’ll react to you, though.”

  Now the Union was full of their humor. Lio still felt wretched, and odds that seemed impossible still stood between him and his Grace. But he felt better than he had in months. Since that first night he’d been without Cassia, and a sneaking suspicion of the truth had first set in.

  His Trial Brothers’ fear for him was still there, though, lurking under the jests and the will to fight for a solution. Or was it Lio’s fear for himself?

  “If her dog would just make sure Flavian can’t produce heirs, everything would be so much simpler,” Lio muttered.

  “Who’s Flavian?” Mak asked.

  “And why is his castration desirable?” Lyros inquired. “Besides the obvious fact that human males have an unhealthy obsession with their own fertility, and the loss thereof would teach him a universal lesson.”

  “‘Who’s Flavian?’” Lio echoed. “You’ve heard of Cassia’s dog but not Flavian? Do you two pay attention to politics at all?”

  “No.” Mak flashed his most cheerful smile. “We have special lessons on fighting against liegehounds, though. Mother talks about Lady Cassia’s war dog all the time. I can recite Knight’s pedigree. Apparently there are Hesperines walking around Orthros tonight who had to regrow limbs thanks to his ancestors.”

  “Surely Uncle Argyros talks about more than Knight.”

  “When Father gets started on Tenebra, that’s my cue to leave the room,” Mak muttered.

  “We prefer to focus on the clarity and directness of physical training,” Lyros said. “Do you need us to try a little Grace Dance on this Flavian, whoever he is? If such a gentle soul as yourself feels inspired to threaten him, Lio, I’m sure he deserves it.”

  “As much as I appreciate the offer, there would be nothing left of him for the two of you after I had a chance at him. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Realistically, his untimely death would be a diplomatic disaster and is to be avoided.”

  Lio dragged his hands through his hair. His fingers snagged on the single, thin braid he wore behind his ear. His reminder of his other promise to Cassia. The one he’d had his illusion speak to her, once he’d realized who she was and that he had let her slip through his fingers. He had given her his solemn oath he would come back for her.

  More than that, in his solitary hours since then, he had promised her…promised himself…he would make things right. That he would do everything in his power to be with her again so he could tell her what she really meant to him, as he could not have done in a hasty, desperate message carried to her on an ephemeral act of sorcery.

  Lio had been trying for half a year to fulfill both promises, his promise to leave and his promise to return. His oath to let her fight and his oath to end his own fight against the Craving. Every time the two promises were at odds, he blamed himself and grew angry at everyone around him.

  Perhaps his Trial brothers were right, and his only real error had been to think in terms of mistakes.

  “Lio said Flavian’s death would be a diplomatic disaster,” Mak pointed out. “There’s plenty of bodily harm we could do short of killing him. Would it sway the course of politics that much if he had to do without his eyes, or he could never walk again?”

  “Why can’t we do bodily harm to this Flavian?” Lyros crossed his arms.

  “He is one of the few neutral figures among the free lords who has the favor of all his peers, thus he is a stabilizing influence on their feuds. He’s also the only man in Tenebra who might be able to take the throne from Lucis if he wanted to. Unfortunately, he doesn’t. He’s loyal to the king, to a fault. So loyal that Lucis is l
etting him…” The force of Lio’s anger made his Gift spike in his blood, and his face throbbed. “…court Cassia. Sunbind those bloodless goat feasters. Flavian thinks he’s going to marry my—Cassia.”

  Mak snickered. “Poor Flavian.”

  “Poor Flavian? Poor mighty, accomplished warrior sportsman Flavian who has apparently bedded most of the female population of Tenebra and is frequently begged to do so again?”

  Mak cleared his throat. “Does that majority of the female population include, ah…”

  “No. Not Cassia.”

  Lio wouldn’t even imagine the possibility. Flavian had not imposed himself on her in that way. Cassia was too expert at avoiding the unwanted attentions of men. She was strong and able to protect herself.

  And Flavian’s attentions must surely be unwanted. Lio refused to admit he had no way of knowing, after all these months apart, whether he was still the only lover Cassia had ever had. But he was her Grace. She would want only him, as surely as he wanted only her.

  Lyros and Mak did not question Lio’s pronouncement on the subject. They just gave each other a knowing look.

  “She’s your…Cassia,” Lyros said. “Flavian can have his belongings sent ahead of him to Hypnos anytime. He already has an appointment with the god of death.”

  “You won’t let anyone touch your Cassia,” Mak stated.

  They spoke as if it were not a decision Lio must make, but a natural law written in the stars. “I’m not sure Cassia wants me to intervene. Flavian may not be a real threat to her. For one thing, it remains to be seen whether or not the king will allow the courtship to progress any further. And even if he does, Cassia is sure to destroy any plan for her life of which her father is the architect. What if she already has a strategy for preventing the match?”

  “What if she has?” Lyros asked.

  Then Lio was still here in Orthros, trying to keep two promises that worked against one another. And he had no idea how long Cassia expected him to persevere.

  How long was her fight to last? Did she see any end to it? She might maneuver her way out of her marriage before spring, but what then? When she realized spring would bring no Equinox Summit and no Lio, what would she do?